Explanations
by d-kronk
Summary: GC Gil reflects on what happened a year ago, and what he could have lost. GC


Title: Explanations 

Author: Angie 

Email: hill@grics.net 

Rating: PG 

Disclaimers: CSI Crime Scene Investigation does not belong to me, they are 

the property of CBS, Alliance Atlantis, Jerry Bruckheimer, Anthony 

Zuiker, and the wonderful actors who portray them.

Author's Notes: I was told if I issued the challenge, I should write something for the challenge, and this is what happened. I'm still not sure about the title, but at least I thought of something. Many thanks to Suzanne for betaing this for me, I'm a continuing work in progress… but my grammar is improving. Rules of the challenge were as follows:

1. Has to mention the date October 24, 2002.

2. Should be at least 1024 words long (mine without authors notes is exactly 1024 words long.)

3. Has to be about an anniversary, but not a wedding anniversary.

4. Try to post on October 24.

Spoilers: through season 3, I'm not going to say specific episodes… don't want to ruin anything within the fic.

Distribution: The GraveshiftCSI Homepage, www.graveshiftcsi.com  


*~*~*~*

Gil watched as his team sat around the table chatting, waiting for him to hand out assignments. He entered the break room and watched as 4 pairs of eyes turned to him expectantly. 

"I've got 3 cases tonight. Nick, Sara you've got a 419 out at Lake Mead." He said as he handed them their case file. Turning to Warrick he continued, "Warrick, you get a 426 at Hillside apartments out in Henderson." He remained silent and watched as they left the room, leaving him alone with Catherine.

"So am I working with you, or do I get my own case tonight?"

"You're with me." Gil said, leaving the room.

Catherine watched him walk out the door and quickly got up to follow him down the hall. "Gil!" He didn't turn around or slow down, and Catherine hurried to catch up with him as he entered his office. Shutting the door behind her, she watched her boss sit at his desk. "What's going on Gil? What case are we working?"

Gil slid the case file over to Catherine and waited for the outburst he knew would be coming.

"What!? Nick and Sara have a body, Warrick gets a rape and we are working on an attempted robbery? Why?"

Gil opened his mouth to say something, before changing his mind and closing it. "We just are okay? Please don't question me on this." He waited for Catherine to say something, but was pleasantly surprised when she remained quiet.

~*~*~*~*

Gil was driving back from their crime scene when Catherine finally spoke up.

"So you want to tell me what this was about?"

"Hmm?"

"Gil, neither of us have worked an attempted burglary in years. It's a rookie case and you know it. Hell, the cops at the scene knew we shouldn't have been there. What's going on?"

"What's the date, Cath?"

"What?" The confusion was clear in Catherine's voice.

"It's a simple question. What is the date?"

"October 24."

"And do you remember what happened a year ago?"

"No." Catherine replied, as she tried to think of the significance of October 24, 2002. "I was probably at work."

"You were." Gil replied as he pulled over to the side of the car and parked. He turned slightly in his seat to face Catherine. Reaching out, his finger gently traced the slight scar on her forehead. "You could have been killed last year."

"I'm fine, Gil." She reached up and took Gil's hand in her own holding it gently. "You don't have to worry about me. Nothing happened."

"Something did happen, Cath. You were attacked and injured, and then you kept it from me. I had to hear about it from Warrick. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Gil…"

  
"Just tell me the truth, Cath. What were you so scared of that you couldn't tell me?"

Catherine froze at Gil's words. She hadn't realized her emotions were that transparent. "I was scared of you, all right. I knew you would be upset. Irrational. I still remember that look on your face, a couple years ago… when you ended up throwing Eddie out of the lab. You were ready to kill him, and don't try to deny it."

"He was hurting you, Cath."

"I was fine."

"No you weren't. I saw the bruises. I always saw the bruises. Why didn't you talk to me?" Gil removed his hand from Catherine's grasp and turned back in his seat, waiting for her answer.

Catherine sighed and leaned back in her seat. She was only going to get one shot to try and clear up the situation. "I had to handle it my way. I couldn't let Eddie and Gallo win. Going to you, asking you to help me… I just needed to know that I could handle the situations on my own. That I could date again without being scared that it would turn into the type of relationship Eddie and I had. I needed to know that I could process a scene on my own without being scared that another Gallo shows up."

"You could have come to me after the case," Gil replied, unsuccessful at keeping the hurt out of his voice.

"I know. I should have. I knew you'd be mad at me for not keeping you informed…at Warrick for not being at the scene in time… at Brass for that officer not getting the scene cleared… at me for sending the officer out of the crime scene in the first place," Catherine added, her voice dropping to a whisper, "… at yourself for not being there." 

"What?" He wasn't completely sure he had heard her correctly.

"Gil, you would have been angry at yourself. It wasn't your fault. It was Gallo's fault and no one else's. It took me a long time to come to grips with what happened. You need to understand that too, Gil. Putting me on an easy case isn't going to make a difference. Holly wasn't working a murder when she was killed." Catherine turned in her seat again, wanting to see Gil's face. She watched him intently, waiting for him to reply.

"I can't help the way I feel, Cath." He opened his eyes and watched Catherine for a moment. Their eyes locked on one another. "You scared the hell out of me that night. I realized how close I came to losing you, and I was not prepared for that to happen. I'm still not. I don't want you out of my life."

"That's why you ran…" Catherine replied, his behavior in the past year was suddenly becoming clear.

"What?"

"You pulled away from me last year. Closed yourself off. It wasn't just because you didn't want me to find out about your hearing problems. You thought if you closed me out, if something did happen to me it wouldn't hurt as bad. Emotions don't work like that, Gil."

"Cath…"

"Don't deny it, Gil." Catherine interrupted with a smile. "I'm not going to leave you, so you better get used to me. I'm going to be around to annoy you for a long time."

"Promise?"

"You can count in it."


End file.
